WHO NEEDS AN EXECUTIVE COACH ANYWAY?

An interesting question came up today which directly affects my career, but it occurs to me also my past. I’ll explain! Over ten years ago, I was a successful but stressed-out lawyer with no life and even less joy. This was not caused by the loved ones and friends around me but by me, and me alone!

A good friend, a successful management consultant with Accenture and other leading companies, offered me executive coaching. This was not the only time this happened. Over the years, I have met life coaches of different backgrounds and qualifications at various networking events.

I always said no, not because I questioned my friends' or other life coaches' fine qualities, but because I didn’t believe in life coaching. I could not see how it could benefit me or my life. I was arrogant, ignorant, and, on reflection, really quite stupid! This was despite the fact that I am generally considered to be quite clever and held in high regard by my colleagues and critics alike.

So, how could it be that I was such a short-sighted idiot, and what changed to make me a believer in the skill, art, and success of life coaching?

Reflecting on this, my first thought about why I had rejected coaching was that maybe it was a cultural issue. I am British by birth, and you know Brits can be a pretty proud and stubborn lot! Just look at the United Kingdom's dealings with the rest of the world, both in history and now, where, despite its reduced global influence, it continues to punch above its weight—or at least we Brits like to believe we do!

I have always been immensely proud and worked hard for everything I achieved in my career.  I had some wonderful mentors along the way, not least my first-ever boss, who took me under his wing when I was a 17-year-old outdoor clerk in a law firm called Wray Smith & Co., based in the ancient heart of the British legal profession, the Inner Temple in London. I cannot tell you the love and affection I still hold for this man today. Still, there are areas where I can reflect and recognize with increased age and experience that I no longer accept or agree with many of his views, not least where it came to areas like the expression of feelings and openness to believing in these fangled new age practices that have never helped anyone.

As a successful lawyer and, subsequently, a judge, I wanted to be like him, and for a long time, I believed his every word. Please don’t get me wrong; it was not that he was incorrect; it was just a very different age born of the Second World War, as well as the period after that, which were tough times in the United Kingdom and the rest of Europe for people of my parents and grandparents generations. So, was this a cultural issue that was responsible? I think it contributes to it, but it is not the only issue.

Was I a coward? I don’t mean in the old-fashioned sense of the expression!   I have always tried to face any problem head-on and work hard to find a solution rather than avoiding it! That’s a contradiction to accepting the benefits of executive coaching, RIGHT?

So, what was I afraid of opening up? Admitting I have made mistakes and facing them? I think if we are honest with ourselves, we are all a little fearful of doing so; that is what makes us human after all, unless, of course, you are a sociopath, a few of whom I have worked for over the years, in which case your self-belief and confidence is second to none!

The thing is, and it’s a silly but essential thing, COACHING WORKS! Not only does it work, but it is not about mistakes or leaving yourself feeling like you are exposing yourself. It is about the future as well as the here and now!

When I work with a client, the client sets the agenda and comes up with the answers, albeit with a bit of steering and guidance from me using my ears, eyes, and mouth, asking the right questions. My clients already have the answers, but they can be hidden deep or right in front of their eyes! I help them find them; as I said, COACHING WORKS!

As a professionally trained life coach, I am delighted when I see my clients' breakthroughs and fantastic results. Knowing that they are progressing to the next stage of their success or breakthrough in life brings me genuine pleasure and joy.

I shouldn’t be surprised; as soon as I started using a coach, the old concerns and negative thoughts were there, and I was initially hesitant, resistant, and nervous. My skillful coach asked me the right questions, and pretty much straight away, I noticed my life changing for the better through several breakthroughs.

I realized that events or thoughts that had held me back for years were not the roots of my problems; it was me and only me! I learned to become a happier, better, and more successful person.

So, all those years ago, how could I have been so unwise as to believe that coaching could not help me? Change my life for the better, both professionally and personally? I’m still unsure if I have an answer to that, but I have learned that coaching is about a brighter future and improving the here and now! That is all that matters!

Professionally trained life coaches undertake specialist courses and obtain skills as part of their accreditation process required by the International Coach Federation, of which I am a member. This process involves them learning about themselves to enable them to help others. It is a fascinating journey, sometimes tricky, but extremely rewarding.

Why wouldn’t this be attractive? Is it cultural or more? Only you can find out the answer to that question, but trust me, I wouldn’t have missed this journey for anything. I’m so happy that I can say out loud that I am an ICF COACH, able to help others on their journey, too!