WHO NEEDS AN EXECUTIVE COACH ANYWAY?

An interesting question came up today which directly affects my career, but it occurs to me also my past. I’ll explain! Over ten years ago, I was a successful but stressed-out lawyer with no life and even less joy. This was not caused by the loved ones and friends around me but by me, and me alone!

A good friend, a successful management consultant with Accenture and other leading companies, offered me executive coaching. This was not the only time this happened. Over the years, I have met life coaches of different backgrounds and qualifications at various networking events.

I always said no, not because I questioned my friends' or other life coaches' fine qualities, but because I didn’t believe in life coaching. I could not see how it could benefit me or my life. I was arrogant, ignorant, and, on reflection, really quite stupid! This was despite the fact that I am generally considered to be quite clever and held in high regard by my colleagues and critics alike.

So, how could it be that I was such a short-sighted idiot, and what changed to make me a believer in the skill, art, and success of life coaching?

Reflecting on this, my first thought about why I had rejected coaching was that maybe it was a cultural issue. I am British by birth, and you know Brits can be a pretty proud and stubborn lot! Just look at the United Kingdom's dealings with the rest of the world, both in history and now, where, despite its reduced global influence, it continues to punch above its weight—or at least we Brits like to believe we do!

I have always been immensely proud and worked hard for everything I achieved in my career.  I had some wonderful mentors along the way, not least my first-ever boss, who took me under his wing when I was a 17-year-old outdoor clerk in a law firm called Wray Smith & Co., based in the ancient heart of the British legal profession, the Inner Temple in London. I cannot tell you the love and affection I still hold for this man today. Still, there are areas where I can reflect and recognize with increased age and experience that I no longer accept or agree with many of his views, not least where it came to areas like the expression of feelings and openness to believing in these fangled new age practices that have never helped anyone.

As a successful lawyer and, subsequently, a judge, I wanted to be like him, and for a long time, I believed his every word. Please don’t get me wrong; it was not that he was incorrect; it was just a very different age born of the Second World War, as well as the period after that, which were tough times in the United Kingdom and the rest of Europe for people of my parents and grandparents generations. So, was this a cultural issue that was responsible? I think it contributes to it, but it is not the only issue.

Was I a coward? I don’t mean in the old-fashioned sense of the expression!   I have always tried to face any problem head-on and work hard to find a solution rather than avoiding it! That’s a contradiction to accepting the benefits of executive coaching, RIGHT?

So, what was I afraid of opening up? Admitting I have made mistakes and facing them? I think if we are honest with ourselves, we are all a little fearful of doing so; that is what makes us human after all, unless, of course, you are a sociopath, a few of whom I have worked for over the years, in which case your self-belief and confidence is second to none!

The thing is, and it’s a silly but essential thing, COACHING WORKS! Not only does it work, but it is not about mistakes or leaving yourself feeling like you are exposing yourself. It is about the future as well as the here and now!

When I work with a client, the client sets the agenda and comes up with the answers, albeit with a bit of steering and guidance from me using my ears, eyes, and mouth, asking the right questions. My clients already have the answers, but they can be hidden deep or right in front of their eyes! I help them find them; as I said, COACHING WORKS!

As a professionally trained life coach, I am delighted when I see my clients' breakthroughs and fantastic results. Knowing that they are progressing to the next stage of their success or breakthrough in life brings me genuine pleasure and joy.

I shouldn’t be surprised; as soon as I started using a coach, the old concerns and negative thoughts were there, and I was initially hesitant, resistant, and nervous. My skillful coach asked me the right questions, and pretty much straight away, I noticed my life changing for the better through several breakthroughs.

I realized that events or thoughts that had held me back for years were not the roots of my problems; it was me and only me! I learned to become a happier, better, and more successful person.

So, all those years ago, how could I have been so unwise as to believe that coaching could not help me? Change my life for the better, both professionally and personally? I’m still unsure if I have an answer to that, but I have learned that coaching is about a brighter future and improving the here and now! That is all that matters!

Professionally trained life coaches undertake specialist courses and obtain skills as part of their accreditation process required by the International Coach Federation, of which I am a member. This process involves them learning about themselves to enable them to help others. It is a fascinating journey, sometimes tricky, but extremely rewarding.

Why wouldn’t this be attractive? Is it cultural or more? Only you can find out the answer to that question, but trust me, I wouldn’t have missed this journey for anything. I’m so happy that I can say out loud that I am an ICF COACH, able to help others on their journey, too!

OVERWHELM!

It's a funny old world at the moment, and noticeable how many people find themselves a feeling of overwhelm for a variety of reasons. But what does that mean exactly?

It is an individual thing, and the definition is broad, but a simple one is that overwhelm most commonly means to cause to be overcome with emotion as a result of an amount of something (work, stress, etc.) that's just too much to handle. And you shouldn't feel ashamed of feeling overwhelmed or consider yourself weak or unable to cope. It can happen to the best of us, and we all react differently.

I have a challenge for you. Give yourself a break and take a moment to get some elevation as to everything going on.

Instead of feeling like everything is coming at you at a hundred miles per hour, and building up anxiety, take a moment, breathe deeply, write down each task or issue to be completed and instead of feeling like the whole world is on your shoulders, look upon each of these as a small matter to be overcome.

More times than not, this approach will help to make your professional and personal life more manageable, releasing the negativity that is taking up your energy and hopefully leading to a much more fulfilled existence.

And remember, give yourself a break! You deserve it.

Why do people use me as a business mentor or coach?

Peter Gourri at the Indian Consulate in New York City on January 19, 2021

Why do people use me as a coach, especially my corporate as well as other business clients? Well it isn’t just because I am a trained ICF coach, who also has extensive experience in business mentoring and coaching, leadership training and personal development. It is also because I make it my business to ensure that I have the up to date knowledge of business practices to ensure I have the abilities to make my clients more successful. 

I was delighted to have been invited by Consul General of India in New York City, Mr Randhir Jaiswal, in partnership with MPEDA and USISPF to an event celebrating Indian Seafood and its impact in the United States of America. It’s a lesser known fact that India exports thousands of tons of seafood, especially shrimp to the USA every year. After an excellent presentation, during which I had an opportunity to ask questions from subject matter experts in India and New York, there were samples of food to taste and enjoy. The food as you would expect was absolutely delicious. It was presented by the famous Michelin Star Chef Hemant Mathur of Saar

For me, being invited to the consulate wasn’t just having some fun engaging with others and tasting delicious food, although it was definitely enjoyable. It was primarily an opportunity to obtain knowledge about different aspects of international business. My background in business goes back to 1987 when I started off as a 17 year old outdoor clerk with a firm of Solicitors (Attorneys) in the Inner Temple area of the City of London. After hard work and a legal education, I rose to become a senior litigation and business lawyer representing small, medium and large businesses as well as individuals. 

My practice included providing business and legal advice and suing or defending against governments, institutions with diplomatic immunity to multinational conglomerates and all types of business. I also enjoyed representing nonprofit organizations and startups, providing them with practical advice on best practice and success. 

Because of my extensive background in business it means that I have very extensive set of skills not just as an ICF coach but also as somebody who has been there, done it and helped numerous individuals and businesses to transform themselves into greater success and contentment.  I’m able to give my clients practical knowledge based on that extensive expertise in business and individual success.

If you want to make your business more successful, or perhaps you want to have a startup or resolve issues which you can’t quite put your finger on as to why it is still around, drop me a line by clicking here. I have no doubt I will be able to help you.

Take a hike - For clarity and wellbeing!

As a business mentor and life coach, I encourage my clients to give themselves space and time in order to breathe and have the opportunity to take a step back and gain clarity. Sometimes we need to be completely separated from our business world and the stresses that around us to remind ourselves what’s actually important and the results we are seeking to achieve.

This week, try to give yourself some space think about what you want for your future plans whether that relates to your business or personal life. I find it helpful to start at the end, thinking where I want to be in 20, 10 or 5 years time and work backwards from there.

Hiking on the Rattlesnake trail

at the Delaware Water Gap

On Sunday I went on a hike to the Delaware Water Gap which is on the border of New Jersey and Pennsylvania. It was my first hike of 2021 and despite the fact that my Covid lungs were reminding me that it will take a little time to fully recover despite the fact that it’s already been nine months, I felt empowered, energized and overjoyed at being out in the wilderness.  Having the opportunity to push myself and to enjoy the outdoors which is where I’m usually happiest can help to give me clarity, empowerment and strength. Wellness is always key to a good life.

The temperature was -2 C and there was a fair bit of ice and mud around but nothing to be worried about, and absolutely worth it for the views and the fresh air. Being in the outdoors has been my go-to for joy and clarity my entire life. As a child and during my time in the RAFVR(T), I used to love having the opportunity to be out enjoying the outdoors for all that it gives us.

I continue enjoying my time outside and love being a volunteer with the New York/New Jersey Chapter of the Appalachian Mountain Club. They do such valuable work to promote the outdoors. I still have my various outdoor qualifications as well as extensive experience which I was lucky enough to have obtained in the United Kingdom. It is my intention to get out as often as I can to help me think and gain clarity for my best possible future life, which also involves a successful business.

So in conclusion of my post, I invite you to click on the link to my contact page so you or your friends, family or business associates can book a complimentary session with me. Many people find just one session with me gives them the opportunity to gain clarity which they’ve been seeking. There’s no commitment. It’s all about you and the power in your life, making either your business or your life successful. In the case of my clients it’s usually both. I’m looking forward to sharing this journey with you. 

Views from the Ridgeline on the Rattle Snake trail at the Mohican Center at the Delaware Water Gap in New Jersey