Is Hiring a Career Coach the Right Move for You?

Have you ever wondered whether working with a career coach would be helpful? Hiring one requires time and money, so it’s essential to do your due diligence before making the investment. Here are five reasons you might consider hiring one.

• You don’t know what you want to do next. If you’re unsure what will bring you fulfillment, a coach can help you consider possibilities that are a departure from your past experiences or that you hadn’t considered.

• You want to improve your resume and LinkedIn profile drastically. Maybe you need support in identifying transferable skills that are relevant to a role you’re interested in, even if they don’t match up precisely with what’s in the job description.

• You aren’t over your previous job. Perhaps the way your last job ended has left you feeling wounded and lacking confidence. A career coach can encourage you to move past unpleasant career experiences and rebuild your belief in yourself.

• You’ve been interviewing, but it's going nowhere. A coach can help you refine your answers to other common interview questions, polish your executive presence, and practice with you, so you feel confident in your following interview. 

• You’re not moving up in your career. Coaches can decode performance feedback from your manager to uncover behaviors you need to adjust to continue to grow.

Increase the Chances That Your Best People Will Stay

Managers are worried about losing their best employees right now — and they probably should be. The marketplace for talent has shifted. You need to consider your employees like customers and put thoughtful attention into retaining them. Here are four steps to try:

1.    Be aware of your impact. Pause and consider how you’re showing up as a leader — in your words and actions. Your people are likely worried and stressed. Are you unintentionally adding to their fears and anxieties? Noting your impact will allow you to steer it in the right direction.

2.    Give your employees respect and attention. Identify any growth opportunities you can offer. Recognize the positive impact people are having and ask them about their aspirations. Then create a plan to help them achieve their goals.

3.    Focus on potential and possibility. Ask your team: What do you envision as the best possible outcome in the next year? What excites you about the future? How can we get there as a team?

4.    Make it okay to leave. When someone resigns, respond with gratitude for their time at your company. Far too often, when an employee gives notice, the reaction is akin to an emotional breakup — you’ve been left and feel rejected. There’s a penchant for dismissing their presence and devalue their contribution. Think deeply about what this type of behavior signals to the departing employee. And remember, those that remain are watching.

Remember, Love Yourself Too!

SELF CARE CHECKLIST - REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF TOO!

I sent one of my Godchildren a message for his 18th Birthday, and the Irony of it as well as the contradiction of it, did not escape me. It was both a reminder and a note to myself too!

Enjoy life, Godson. I do not regret giving service above myself, but I wish I had remembered to love myself and enjoy life for myself more than I did. It is a lesson we can all remember. We can love and care for others while loving and caring for ourselves too.

The Value of Experience and Knowledge of Others

This guy's walking down a street when he falls into a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. 

A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts, "Hey you, can you help me out?" 

The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down the hole, and moves on. 

Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts, "Father, I'm down in this hole. Can you help me out?" 

The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. 

Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." 

The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before and know the way out." 

Never Underestimate the knowledge of others!

The Optimist vs. Pessimist - There must be a Pony!

The Story of “There must be a Pony” by Jim Kirkwood is a favorite of mine. There have been many variations of the cover story which appears on the front of the book as well as jokes which have been adapted from it. For me, it can reflect our way of being. Is the glass half empty or half full? How we choose to reflect on life can affect our successes and failures. A lot of the hesitation we might have is usually just our negative interpretations. By getting elevation and reflecting on the tasks in hand, recognizing that in reality there are no obstacles to success other than those that we may place in our own way.

The short story goes like so. A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father decided to undertake an experiment.

He loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game a child could dream of. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because I don’t understand why this is happening, my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure, covered from head to toe in the unpleasant substance.

"What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "With all this house crap around, there's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

OVERWHELM!

It's a funny old world at the moment, and noticeable how many people find themselves a feeling of overwhelm for a variety of reasons. But what does that mean exactly?

It is an individual thing, and the definition is broad, but a simple one is that overwhelm most commonly means to cause to be overcome with emotion as a result of an amount of something (work, stress, etc.) that's just too much to handle. And you shouldn't feel ashamed of feeling overwhelmed or consider yourself weak or unable to cope. It can happen to the best of us, and we all react differently.

I have a challenge for you. Give yourself a break and take a moment to get some elevation as to everything going on.

Instead of feeling like everything is coming at you at a hundred miles per hour, and building up anxiety, take a moment, breathe deeply, write down each task or issue to be completed and instead of feeling like the whole world is on your shoulders, look upon each of these as a small matter to be overcome.

More times than not, this approach will help to make your professional and personal life more manageable, releasing the negativity that is taking up your energy and hopefully leading to a much more fulfilled existence.

And remember, give yourself a break! You deserve it.

Are obstacles really in the way of your success?

What if there were no obstacles? Nothing to stop you from succeeding in your goals?  Better still, what if our belief that there are obstacles that are impossible to overcome, are actually just an illusion, a figment of our imagination, something our brain does to play tricks on us, to convince us we just can’t do it? We can’t succeed!

The reality is that most of the obstacles we place in our way are not real, or at least to the degree we think they are. When you look at young kids, they can be reckless, fearless, and inspirational in their seeking the spirit of adventure with a passion that we could all benefit from. They have not yet been conditioned for fear, failure, or fault. And conditioning itself is irreversible.

In coaching, we call it “transformation” because, unlike change, transformation is a more permanent state of mind or process akin to rewiring an electrical item instead of making a repair or change to its circuitry.

When coaching clients, a common expression is not “why isn’t it possible” as this in itself is an invitation for a host of reasons as to impossibly but instead we ask “what is stopping you?” Almost always, after talking through the potential for success available to clients, it is for the most part clear that there are no obstacles in the way and the only thing actually stopping you is yourself.

So, rather than thinking “I can’t do it, there are too many obstacles in the way”. Ask yourself instead,” is there anything actually stopping me from achieving my goal?”

Give yourself a break, and take a leap of faith. it’s fun!

“IF” YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD WHEN ALL AROUND YOU ARE LOSING THEIRS!

Rudyard Kipling was a famous British writer born in colonial India in 1865. He wrote a number of notable works but there is one poem in particular which has always struck a chord and even now, despite its Victorian age, can be quite thought-provoking for individuals working in any high-pressure or challenging environment. The poem is called “If” and was written in the form of paternal advice to his son, John Kipling, who was killed in World War One while serving as an officer with the Irish Guards at the Battle of Loos.

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

⁠And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

⁠Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

⁠And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

Mental Health Awareness

I woke up yesterday morning with a deep foreboding of darkness. I had a meeting I wasn’t looking forward to and truth be told I’ve become quite isolated since Covid started affecting us in March 2020.

I tried reaching out to a couple of friends but they have their own lives and are busy so didn’t manage to speak. After several other busy commitments I spoke to an acquaintance who was coming in from out of town. We met for brunch and she smelt the flower on our table.

“I love the difference it can make in your day just to take a moment and do something simple like smelling a beautiful flower, don’t you?”

I reflected for a moment for her comment as we continued dining. And then it struck me how living in any kind of isolation can detach ourselves from the simple things in life. For me the outdoors has always been my happy place. It’s where I clear my negative thoughts and gain clarity.

While I didn’t tell her how much it meant to me to have her company, I think she knew it was just nice to talk and engage with another human being. I don’t know If having negative thoughts or moments or darkness means I have a mental illness or health problem? If so, there’s probably a little in all of us in reality but I do know that one person can make a big difference in the lives of others by just saying hi and smelling a flower.

It’s mental health awareness week. Having mental health issues is not something to feel ashamed of, as was the thought process instilled in me growing up. It is something to acknowledge and where necessary get help but as for you, my flower friend and me, maybe pick up the phone or send a text to a friend. Say “Hi, how are you?” You never know the difference it might make in their world.

Saying Sorry Doesn’t Need To Be The Hardest Thing to Do!

A sincere apology should always be offered when your actions have had a negative impact on other people. Even if you do not fully understand why someone is so upset, respect their feelings, and accept that your actions are the root of the problem.

Don’t pass the buck, or use your apology as a way of blaming someone else. Don’t plead mitigating or extenuating circumstances, or engage in retrospective regrets: “With hindsight, I should have…” Don’t argue that your misdeeds were essentially based on a misunderstanding of salient circumstances. Take full responsibility for your actions. Never ever use the phrase ”I’m sorry if I offended/disappointed/enraged you.” You must fully own the fault – no ifs, not buts.

An apology will be much more persuasive if you acknowledge, and even reiterate, the nature of the fault: “I’m sorry I was so irritable last night” is more specific than a simple “I’m sorry”, and actually recognises the other person’s grievance. Never temper your apologies with accusations or insinuations: it will negate the impact if an apology is immediately followed by self-justification or further criticism. If you have committed a real faux-pas consider sending a handwritten note – but only after you have offered a verbal apology, otherwise it will look like a lesser meaner.

Some societies have a habit to apologise for other people’s actions. If someone barges into you, a muttered “sorry” is misplaced. Constant, needless apologising, when you are not the actual offender, devalues the currency, and will lessen the impact of a genuine, heartfelt mea culpa. It is important that you recognise when an apology is called for and that you sincerely acknowledge the magnitude of the offence.

It Worked For Me!

General Colin Powell’s 13 Rules Of Leadership

Colin Powell’s Thirteen Rules of Leadership  

I first came across General Colin Powell’s Thirteen Rules of Leadership several years ago but in all honesty, gave it little notice until I decided to listen to his audiobook a few months ago, which in turn prompted me to purchase the hard copy of the book.  I was sad when he passed away in October 2021. He was an inspirational leader during his time in service and easy to admire.

Some of the principles he made reference to were principles that I followed and suggested to others so not necessarily new to me but the difference this time was that I found myself giving more thought to his comments within the context of the current business environment, especially in the age of virtual communication, and how many of my executive clients could benefit from approaching his suggestions, albeit with their own adaption according to individual circumstances. 

Listening to Colin Powell’s Rules in his own spoken word, I felt like I was talking to an old friend, giving words of advice on how to live life. His rules which I have highlighted in bold letters are full of emotional intelligence and wisdom for any leader.  I’ve added my own thoughts and my invitation to others are to interpret, remember and apply these for yourselves.

Rule 1: It Ain’t as Bad as You Think!  It Will Look Better in the Morning!

These are the words of a man and of a leader who lived a purposeful life.  It is true how many events that seem so devastating have in them the seeds of renewal if we look for them.  Give it some time and perspective.  You can deal with it!  You have made it this far!

Rule 2: Get Mad Then Get Over It!  OK, you’re angry and probably rightly so! Instead of letting anger destroy you, use it to make constructive change in your organization or even in your life.  Acknowledge and accept that you are angry and then use your anger in an effective manner for your own benefit and the benefit of others.

Rule 3: Avoid Having Your Ego So Close to your Position that When Your Position Falls, Your Ego Goes with It!

Your position is what you do to live, it is not who you are.  Leaders that have “their egos in check” will lead from whatever position they hold.  For them, a position is just a means to an end–not the end itself.  You can always lead!

Rule 4: It Can be Done! 

Being a leader is all about making things happen.  If challenged, they will ask, Why Not, when faced with the improbable.  While one approach may not work, it might be done another way.  Being a leader is about being able to take a step back, get some elevation and gain an overview. Don’t be afraid to review plans of action with renewed knowledge. A good leader will not hesitate or be afraid to be open to change a course of action. Consider and find the other way to make it happen!

Rule 5: Be Careful What You Choose! You May Get It! 

When making decisions, consider the potential implications and decide carefully as well as wisely.  You will have to live with your decisions, and many decisions have unintended consequences. This also includes the people you choose to associate with. Choose them wisely too! You are affected by the company that you keep.

Rule 6: Don’t Let Adverse Facts Stand in the Way of a Good Decision. 

Whoever said leadership was easy! If they did, they were not truthful. Leaders sometimes have to stand alone (or with the support of only a few) on what they know to be right. They have to make difficult, right decisions that may cost them some relationships. Fortunately, the truth has a way of surfacing with time. Leaders we now admire such as Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King and President Abraham Lincoln had plenty of people who detested them in their times. Make the right decision, take the heat, and let time and good results prove you right!

Rule 7: You Can’t Make Someone Else’s Decisions!  You Shouldn’t Let Someone Else Make Yours! 

While good leaders listen and consider all perspectives, they ultimately make their own decisions and take responsibility for their choices.  If it does not feel, seem, or smell right, it may not be right.   Make your own decision about what is in your own best interests. Accept your good decisions.  Learn from your mistakes. Experiences make us more learned and better leaders.

Rule 8: Check Small Things! 

While leaders live in the “big picture” world they should never forget the importance of the details and they should ensure that the details get the attention they deserve. It is often the small things, or little foxes as King Solomon put it, that ruin the best laid plans. Don’t forget the details! Don’t forget your people!

Rule 9: Share Credit!

It is probably our modern culture but “leader worship” can sometimes appear engrained in us.  The CEO’s get all of the attention and most of the credit for a company’s success. Leaders are indispensable to success, but the truth is a leader cannot achieve success on their own.  The success of leaders is built on the talents of the people working with them to fulfill the vision.  Without them, leaders might not be so successful.  As a leader, share the credit with others.  

Rule 10: Remain calm!  Be kind!

It is hard for a leader to inspire confidence and resilience in others if he or she cannot keep his or her composure in times of difficulty.  It is hard for a leader to garner loyalty from others if he or she treats others badly. Remain calm and be kind and your team will climb mountains for you!

Rule 11: Have a Vision! Be Demanding!

Lost sometimes in the language of inclusion, employee participation, servant leadership, motivation, etc. is the fact that leaders are demanding when it comes to fulfilling the vision.  Effective leaders do not accept poor performance and mediocre results. They hold people accountable for their performance.  It is talented people working diligently that achieve success. Be clear about what needs to be done and hold people accountable for fulfilling their roles and responsibilities.

Rule 12: Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers! 

Fear can be paralyzing! Further, there will always be those who do not support a leader or have his or her best interests at heart no matter how hard the leader tries to work effectively with them.  To lead others effectively, tune out your fears and the uninformed naysayers.  You will be more successful.

Rule 13: Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier!

There is something to be said for the leader who refuses to accept defeat and continues to adapt as necessary until he or she is successful.  He or she is a force to be reckoned with and he or she will positively impact others.  Remain optimistic and your leadership effectiveness will multiply.

Colin Powell’s short rules are full of wisdom and application.  They remain powerful lessons for any leader. These rules encourage leaders to manage their emotions effectively, have a realistic sense of who they are as a person, model the behavior they expect from others because they themselves serve by example.

We can all do well with these 13 rules!

Seven habits you need to break for a successful entrepreneurial business life

Life can be pretty tough at the best of times, but to have a successful self-employed life, it can sometimes feel like you have to put in more hours, take on more projects, some of which you do not actually want, and get yourself ‘out there as much as possible. But bad habits can form, even those built on good intentions, and frequently these can actually hold you back.

From my own experience as a business coach, I have come up with a few ideas of habits you might consider stopping straight away to give you a happier and far more successful business life.

1.      You are easily distracted

On a day-to-day level, you may find that you sit in front of the computer to work on creating materials, business or coaching plans but instead frequently find yourself distracted by the call of social media, cat and dog videos, or reading online articles, some of which have nothing whatsoever to do with business but what occurred at the Oscars, considering each and every possible angle of the event. Sound familiar?

One of the approaches I adopt to help myself is to write a list of what I want to do, I set a timer for a limited period of 15/20 minutes or so, and promise myself that I will not get distracted, or do anything else until the timer is up.

Distractions can also be bigger and come from not having a focus or goals for your business. Many entrepreneurs are people who can get distracted by new ideas and possible opportunities. It even has the name ‘bright, shiny object syndrome! It is not dissimilar to when a dog gets completely distracted by a squirrel whilst on a walk!

When new opportunities or ideas do appear, ask yourself whether it’s really relevant to the direction you want for yourself and your business. If it’s not, then it is likely to be an unnecessary distraction, even if it is fun on the face of it.

2.      Working 24/7

Even workaholics have to sleep. As I type this late in the evening, I have placed myself under the pressure of believing that this is something I need to do. But with that in mind, ask yourself, if I do not take care of myself, who is going to take care of my business if I end up being unable to properly function. As an entrepreneur, it is a very easy and slippery slope to start clocking up 60-, 70- or even 80-hour workweeks. You might feel that if you just put in more time on your business to create success.

 Many people feel like working 24/7 is manageable until, suddenly, it isn’t. Their health starts to suffer, they can’t sleep, their mental health declines, and they become isolated from their friends and family. As much as you love your entrepreneurial business, it’s important to maintain your work/life balance. Make time for yourself and be with people around you that you care about. Take time off, and take up pastimes that give you joy. In terms, you might be surprised at the positive effect on your business.

3.      Setting boundaries

Entrepreneurs often find they have to increase their work time when they don’t set boundaries.  If you are someone who feels obliged to say ‘yes’ to every request or opportunity, who feels unable to let anyone down, and who is worried about not being available, it can get exhausting very quickly. 

As an entrepreneur, you should be able to set the boundaries for your business that suit you. This includes your working hours, availability, and even when you are happy to answer the phone. If you choose not to work Fridays or you only like to have telephone meetings after lunch, that is your call. Be clear with clients and contacts so you can manage expectations. Make sure you stick to your boundaries, Structure your working week in a way that suits you.

 4.      Starting too late in the day!

You will read a number of books and articles that state that many successful entrepreneurs, freelancers, and business people swear that the secret to their success is making an early start on their work every day.

You might find that getting up an hour earlier and implementing a morning routine such as writing a to-do list or checking your emails before your clients are in their offices helps you to manage your workload. Of course, this doesn’t always work for night owls, but it might be worth a try, and be sure to avoid taking long naps during the day.

5.      Doing work that makes you unhappy!

One of the consequences of a bad habit such as saying ‘yes’ to everything is that you can end up creating a job for yourself that makes you unhappy rather than a business that fulfills you.

Sometimes, we all find ourselves taking on work or clients that don’t gel with our own values or who have unrealistic expectations. This can be draining. Bad client and bad work are simply not worth it!

If you are doing work that makes you unhappy, ask yourself way and is it really worth it?  Look at your database of customers. Who are the clients that you love working with? What projects fill you with excitement? What are you passionate about?

If you can build your business around these things, you are likely to find a significant positive transformation in your life.

6.      Sitting at your desk for too long

Even if you’re disciplined about the hours your work overall, you could be spending too long at your desk throughout the day. Short, frequent breaks have been found to be far better for us than less frequent longer breaks. Try to take five to ten minutes away from your desk at the end of every hour and you should feel much more productive.

7.      Overpromising

Don’t do it! It is such a common entrepreneurial habit to overpromise. You want to look like you’re completely in control and capable of delivering whatever your clients need. But this also means that you might over-extend yourself, underestimate how long a project will take to complete and deliver it late or offer to take on more tasks that you can accomplish with your current workload, eventually letting people down. They say it’s better to under-promise and over-deliver.

If these extremely brief examples sound familiar, let’s have a conversation. My clients past and present have benefited greatly from working with me in these and many other challenging aspects of the business.